Last Week in Town (It's Pretty Weird)

I saw 500 Days of Summer today, and it was pretty magical.

Any movie starring my future wife (zooey deschanel) and a cast member from 3rd Rock from the Sun is going to be right in my wheelhouse. Especially if it liberally references popular bands that people pretend are obscure.

Also it has a guy brokenhearted about a girl, so that's a pretty big draw.

This movie managed to couch something i've been trying to elaborate on in the Magic Blog better than i have been able to couch something i've been trying to elaborate on in the Magic Blog.

There is a sequence of events where female romantic lead opens up to male romantic lead in that super special we're special friends way, and mr. voiceover narrates, "Male romantic lead knew that these were stories that not everyone heard, these were stories that had to be earned."

First of all, I appreciated that they called these exchanges of words "stories" because i like to describe things as stories. But also, i think this may be a more (genuine, no) (appropriate, no)... complete explanation of my constant complaint about "carrying someone else's baggage." The way things happen is that, not only must I be bonded to someone through these packets of emotional hpv, but in order to receive one in the first place, I must work so very hard. I must sacrifice, i must love, i must put up with all manner of nonsense, to phrase it eloquently, I must earn it.

Here again, we draw on another theme that runs throughout my life and the life of the magic blog. My very immature way of not seeing the world for how it really is, but as this sort of fanciful wordfairy land populated by charming, beautiful, and interesting people, with myself as the ruler of this adolescent candyland.

Every once in a while, the real world sneaks up on me like an agile freight train and ambushes the back of my pretending-nodes. (In my brain!) And i take a mental-breath and take reality-stock of the actual-situation.

I am a nineteen year old college student who is moving to a new town to find something that I probably just imagined. I couldn't even tell you what this thing is. If pressed, it would be a girl. A girl like Clementine in Eternal Sunshine; a girl who by her very affections makes the world into something different, something out of a story.

I am studying journalism because i want to be a household name. I want to be iconic. I want to be an archetype.

I want to be a fictional character.

I don't even want to be superman or anything, i want to be famousrichhappyman (I would like flight), and i would settle for just happyman.

This distresses me.

I am distressed because as far as I know, this person has never actually existed. It's just me getting caught up in fiction again.

(Let this be a lesson for you future parents; don't let your kids read)

My friend nelson left the state today. He is going to Colorado for the year. Despite us drifting apart some in college, as i left his filthy apartment this afternoon, i still felt that sting in my psyche and bruise in my gut that comes with separation. I can only imagine how it will be on Friday.

I recently described my current emotional state as "lumpy." And i feel that it is a remarkably accurate way to describe the way i am feeling the things that i am currently feeling.

All these different emotions are just floating in my cut like clay (non-toxic) with no discernable form or shape. And maybe that's pretty much how it as to be until there is some new stimuli to act on it. To mold it like patric swayze in ghost into something i could readily identify, like, sad, lonely, hungry, happy, magical.

This is the problem with summer readers, not enough to say.